Thursday, May 15, 2014

I mentioned in my last post that it was my birthday. I turned twenty last Saturday, which i don’t really know how to feel or think about it. i mean, I've grown up enough that birthdays are just another day out of the year. you don’t feel different when you wake up on your birthday from the night before when you went to sleep. at least i don't.

when i think about turning twenty, in my head, i kinda feel older. because I’m not a teenager anymore. i feel like I've changed demographics, and i guess i have. I’m now apart of the collage and career age group. i was before but now for some reason i feel like i belong to it more.

along with always growing older i have to start making more and more "life choices." the one that is coming up on the horizon, and the one that is most present on my mind is what to do this fall. whether to go back to school or not. back before i graduated the first-year program at CLBI i applied for their second year program, trying to keep my doors open i guess. anyways i did all that was expected for that and i got an email today saying that i was accepted. i have until June 30th until i guess i have to really decide. on June 30th the school wants a non-refundable deposit to secure my spot for next year.

there are a lot of thing's about going back next year which kinda worry me. all of the out trips the school does, and the impact trip. something the school does which is unique is that they do a fall hiking/canoeing trip, which is in the first week in September. they do something called an urban hike, which takes you to the down town urban centers of big citys like edmonton or calgary to volunteer in homeless shelters and do things like that. the last trip they do is called winter camp/hike. which is what it sounds like. the second years also do something called an Impact Trip. which is a month long mission trip that takes place during the month of January.

i don’t know what it is about these things that worry me, i know God will be with me and that it will all be alright in the end. this past year i went on those outings, and yea they where hard, but i survived. Man i wish i could just get over myself and just live in the knowledge that God is with me and that it will all be ok in the end. i really wish i could just live in that freedom. i don’t know whats holding me back from that.

recovery is going well. i went and saw the surgeon for the second post operation appointment, and he was really pleased with how it is coming. so pleased in fact, that he told me he wants to see me in two weeks instead of just one. so that’s promising. I'm still praying that everything continues to heal properly, but also that the nerves heal and that the feeling comes back way sooner then expected. its all looking promising and kinda exciting. the swelling is continuing to go down, and you can start to see how my face will look after its all said and done.

"There, along the road, was a tiny home. The yard held dead machines behind its fences, Like they were its kids. Broken down, but still worth a lot to someone, It made me stop and grin."
 Along the Road - Radicalface

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